With a Spark

"...you do not fail in obedience through lack of love, but have lost love because you never attempted obedience"

- C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength

We All Live In a Yellow Submarine

There is a scene in James Cameron's film, The Abyss, where Bud and Lindsey Brigman are trapped in a research submarine that is rapidly filling with water. Once they realize they can't plug the leak, they guage the distance back to the research rig and consider swimming for it. They're already equalized to the depth, so this would be a viable solution except that the rig is much too far away. They have one thermal suit and oxygen tank between them. Lindsey convinces Bud to put the suit on and carry her back. Though she will die, the extreme cold of the water will slow her system such that she can be revived by the team on the rig. Just before she draws her last breath, she begins to panic, but then she gives herself to the water and is calm.

This is a picture of how we participate in the death and ressurection of Jesus. We trust him. We die. He carries us. He brings us back to life. He knows this process will work because he's done it before. And this is necessary, because with or without him, we all live in a sinking, yellow submarine. The difference is what happens when the air is gone.

A Sickness Unto Death

Soren Kierkegaard described this dynamic in relation to the account of Jesus and Lazarus in John 11. In John 11:4, Jesus tells Lazarus' family that "this sickness is not unto death". This was to provide an illustration for the necessity of death in the process of restoration. According to Kierkegaard, all of us are sick, but it is only for those who are disconnected from God that this is a sickness unto death. You see, in the absence of God, there is a tension here between what is possible and what is necessary. It is necessary that we die because of sin. But if we die, it is necessary that we be reborn. But ressurection is impossible. Impossible, that is, for everyone but Jesus, which is why we participate in his death. So that we can also participate in his ressurection.

To Love and Obey

Another reason that there is a tension here, is because we have a natural instinct for survival; a fear of death. This is what triggers the panic. It's the reason that we can't reach out and sieze the gift that Jesus offers us, but depend on being seized by him instead. So our participation is really just that we let him carry us. This is the only way. The problem is that we fear. And this is the reason that we can't understand love. Let me explain.

Remember the discussion about love and approval from one of the earlier posts. This is man's idea of love. We encounter someone who has attributes that we admire. They are desirable to us and therefore we seek their approval. Instinctively, we give our approval as an offering, in hopes that it is returned. We place ourselves before them in subjection to their review. These are the mechanics of human love. But this is not love at all, it's fear. We're afraid of rejection, of isolation, of humiliation. Fear is the primary way in which we relate to other people and it is why, without God, we can never truly love.

This brings us to the necessity of obedience. You cannot have true love without it. We all seek this kind of love, but it is out of fear that we are obedient to those from whom we seek approval. And this is why, in failing marriages, obedience quickly disintegrates. You see, if what we call "love" (which is really fear) is a prerequisite for obedience, then marriage is doomed because it requires impossible obedience, the type which is unconditional, not based on fear. Inevitably, in marriage, the fear goes away and then so does the obedience, and so love is dead.

Even if they wanted to become obedient, most people would ask "How can I be obedient to somone that I don't love?" Jesus would respond "How can you love someone to whom you are not obedient?" Unconditional obedience is required for unconditional love. But this kind of obedience is impossible without God. This is the paradox of our faith. And, this is precisely why we must die; because death is the ultimate act of submission and obedience. Jesus was obedient to death, even death on a cross. And he was, therefore, glorified and seated at the right hand of God. For us, this death and ressurection gives us the fruits of the spirit, the greatest of which is love; the real love. Love that conquers all.

Panic.

Why does death require obedience? Because it doesn't make sense. It's contrary to our basic nature. It's a vast and impossible expanse of icy water through which only God can carry us, and only if we allow ourselves to die first. We cannot first understand and then die. This is not possible. Death, by its nature, cannot be understood. We know we are sick. But only God knows that this sickness is not unto death. Even still, Jesus does not want us to have to die, and in this way, he participates in our obedience even as we participate in his death. Remember that when he heard the news of Lazarus' death, Jesus wept. He wept because he had the power to stop it, but out of obedience to his father in heaven, he could not. He wept because he missed his friend.

Panic. This is how the end begins. I feel like i had this kind of moment on this journey. A moment where i realized that though i had offered myself when the water was low, I panicked when the water was high. And the only reason i had to continue was blind obedience. God carried me through and now i have so much more understanding, so much more wisdom. Now i have love that compells me to act. It was backwards, you see? This is what it means, when i tell you how it ends. This is God's design. Turn it around in your mind. This is valuable for faith, for marriage, for career, for personal success. It's something i've suspected for a long time, even written songs about, but now i know it to be true.

I want to leave you with the entirety of the song after which this blog was named. It has so much more meaning for me now. Please remember to pray for the people of South Africa and I encourage all of you to give yourselves to the life that God has for you, even if you don't understand it. When you get to the other side, it'll all make sense.

It Ends With a Spark

Some say it begins with a spark

That our lives are made in moments

Strange that we are born in the dark

Till our eyes are made to open

Witness, climb the mountain and face

A cathartic wound to pride

Stumble we into the unknown

And the courage comes behind

We will fall headlong

But we must be strong

For their eyes look on

Some say we should love and obey

But they violate the sequence

One day when you quiet your voice

You will understand the reason

And you will fall headlong

But you must be strong

For their eyes look on

And when it ends, and the angels raise the chorus

We will search for a light to shine behind us

And find our hands are burning

We understand the journey

Though we began in the dark

We will find that it ends with a spark

God bless, everyone.

Stu